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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Too Close to Home

I'm sitting in the gym at a ballgame. Story of my life, right? Caleb is sitting with Kathy at the video camera and Wallace is pacing at the sideline, watching the girls warm up. It's All A time, and this. is. business.

The girls go into the locker room at 9 minutes to go... it's like clockwork, and after 10 years of it I've got the routine down pat. I glance up at Caleb to make sure he's not aggravating Kathy too bad, pull out my book, and click on my phone to check my email. It's the second day of classes, after all, and there's a couple I've been messaging back and forth with.

And there it is... an HCTC Safety Alert. We get them sometimes, but to be honest I usually don't pay much attention. It's usually just a drill... but then I see Susan coming with her cell phone and there's a tweet from WYMT... HCTC is on lockdown mode because of an active shooter. And suddenly the All A doesn't seem quite so important, as I think of where it could be at and who could be involved. Was it a coworker? A student? Anyone I knew? I come back into the gym after getting off the phone with a coworker and there's Wallace on the other team's bench and he must see how upset I am... tears fill my eyes as he hugs me and I know that it's ok for now...

The next two hours of the game were spent with me watching... I'd lose myself in the close game and then as soon as the ball was dead my thoughts were racing. Social media is great, even if you can't believe everything you read, and soon enough it came out that it wasn't really a "school" shooting but a domestic dispute that just ended up at the school...

but it could have been. We do mock shooting drills and have been through professional development about what to do in the case of an active shooter. We've been told to lock our doors and make sure we know the exits of where we're located. We've heard about disgruntled students and how you never know how situations can escalate... but it never really sunk in. Until tonight.

The game goes on and the girls start fighting back from a 18 point deficit. Yet as I cheer, as I clap, as I watch Wallace rub his head in frustration, I whisper, "Lord help us, Jesus." And I think...

of how we never know what tomorrow holds and we never know when it could be our time and how when we walk into our jobs we just don't know... but He does and He has a plan and He's in control even when we question. Especially when we question. And it's a crazy world, and there's six degrees of separation and everyone knows someone related to someone else and before you know it trouble hits close, too close to home. A loss doesn't seem so important...

But He's still God. And I'm holding Him to it.

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