"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Today was a big lesson in trust. Today, after three years at Highland-Turner, Caleb went to Jackson City. I know, this might not seem like a big deal to most people, but to this Mama, who had walked that baby into the school building every morning for three years (well, most mornings), it was tough. To see him climb in his Daddy's truck and not know what was going to happen when he got there. I wasn't worried about him making new friends. He knows a lot of the kids up there and he has an extended family of sisters that will have his back, not to mention a couple of older cousins. He's generally a friendly kid, and never sees a stranger, so that wasn't my worry, I guess. But it was new. For him. For me. Highland-Turner was a comfort zone. Both of my younger sisters went there. My grandma taught there from the time it opened until she retired 15 years ago. They have wonderful teachers and staff, and a really family-oriented atmosphere.
I'm happy to report that Caleb loved his first day. He loves his new teacher, he's happy that he's got several kids he knows in his class, he liked his classroom. He especially loves that his Dad is right across the hallway from him. He's not so happy that he has to get up and go to school tomorrow, while Kami doesn't. He wasn't really happy to sit down and work through the math packets, but it was no worse than what I'm used to with homework. He literally talked the whole way home, from me picking him up at Lees gym until we got to Shoulderblade Hill...
Which is where the real story about trust came in. YOu see, I KNEW Caleb would be okay today. The people at Jackson have welcomed us with open arms since Wallace started coaching, Caleb knew lots of people, he's a smart kid, and Daddy was right there with him the whole time. At Shoulderblade Hill, I was forced to truly trust. I HATE driving in the snow. I am not a good driver. I am far from a confident driver. I've wrecked on Shoulderblade Hill and dreaded it ever since. I knew there had been a wreck. I knew it was getting colder. I knew that Hill would probably be bad. But as I sat stopped on the top of that Hill, knowing that I'd only started the trek because the bad part is going down, and my life was right with me sitting in that front seat, I became scared. No, scared isnt' the word. I was TERRIFIED. My heart was beating 200 beats per minute, or it felt like that, anyway. Caleb started getting nervous. His voice started trembling. My gas gauge was on low and Caleb, the observant one picked up on it. We sat there for at least 30 minutes waiting for an accident to be cleared and the salt truck to run. We talked. We laughed. We prayed. We sang. We prayed some more. And then we started moving. As we crept down that hill, my baby prayed and prayed. When we got to the bottom, he said, "You know, Mom. You can do all things through Christ."
Now I'll be the first to admit that I was still scared. But I KNOW that God is faithful. I've been reading this verse over and over the past two days, and it is the verse that I claimed as my life verse last year. Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Today, I overcame fear once again, but it was only because I know who is my strong tower. As I heard my brave little boy tell me I can do all things through Christ, I realized... I can. You can.
God hasn't given us a spirit of fear. He's given us one of love and self-discipline, and power. I'm learning to trust him. It's a slow process, but I'm beginning to see that if I trust Him to work it out, he will truly make my paths straight. Even on an icy, snow-covered, crooked mountain road =)
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