I May Not Know Why

We are often told that we shouldn't ask God why... but I'm getting pretty comfortable with it.

As I think about my story, and the various components of it, I realize that it is really a series of "whys" and "why not".

Everything has a reason, but so often we don't see it down here. I can't help but think that at the end of our life, we'll be allowed to see it all like a slideshow, but we'll see the "whys" and "why nots" and they will make sense...

but by then, they really won't matter.

In the meantime, we have to keep living, even if we struggle from day to day. Even if we don't understand, we have to keep putting each foot in front of the other. We have to keep breathing and looking for the beauty and choosing to embrace joy even if we feel as though we have no reason to do so...

In the absence of understanding the big "why", we have to embrace the small "why". We each have a purpose. We each have a calling.

Today I talked about self-concept in class... identity and how it develops and how it changes over time as we have new life experiences. When I asked them, "If I were to say to you, who are you?" one student said, "I would say I really don't know."

And I get that, because somedays I'm not sure who I am. A lot of the time, actually. I'm still trying to reconcile my expectations and my desires and my dreams and my reality...

and I think that will always be the case, as long as we are breathing, because each day brings something new. We are dynamic, and that's a good thing, because otherwise if we are stagnant we die. Maybe not physically, but on the inside.

So, we may not know who we are... but we can know whose we are.

And we may not know why here on earth... but we can know the One who does.

This post has been a reflection for #write31days, using the prompt "why" from Five Minute Fridays.