Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Getting Unstuck

It's the end of May and soon I'll be doing my monthly wrap-up.  Looking back on the past five months and daring to raise up on my tiptoes to keep looking forward.

It's hard, sometimes, to move forward.

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a classroom on a break during a CPR class.  The sun is glorious outside my window but I'm not letting myself go out, because I know once I go out it will be hard to force myself to go back in.

Warmth is good. Sunshine is good. 

Being stuck is not.  Being stuck is seeing the bad and not being able to correct it, and of not feeling good enough for whatever I'm facing. Being stuck is feeling like I'm being buried alive...

The papers are piled up around me as I try to categorize in my head what I need to do.  A discussion board to finish, and then another to start on. Webinars to watch for clinical hours and papers to write and ACLS online to work through.

Then there is all the stuff I want to do at home... like finally get organized (yeah, right).  Redo my bedroom and Caleb's bedroom.  And as I keep ticking off all of these things in my head, I feel like my summer is slowly slipping away...except I'm not even on summer vacation until Saturday... so how can it be slipping away?

Paralyzed, I sit staring at these articles to read and my ever growing to do list.... stuck.

Or maybe not stuck.  Maybe it's just time for me to take a deep breath and look up. 

And take one...small... step. 

The first step, it's the hardest, right?

And His grace is sufficient to help me keep stepping...

and maybe that first step will be to sit in the sun after this class, and read for a few minutes... or just sit.  Clear my head of all that chaos and breathe in His peace. 

Getting unstuck?  It's more about Him and less about me.

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