The Little Things

Today, I picked Caleb up from academic team practice. He went to Zumba with me and then we went to McDonalds, thru the drive-thru, and up to my Grandparents to eat before church. We worked on homework and did Jesus Calling and before we knew it, it was bedtime.

Time is short. There aren't enough hours in the day. Too often I talk to Caleb with my computer in my lap, or a book in my hand, or my cell phone turned on. I don't live in the moment, and before I know it, these moments with him will be gone.

Moments like talking about whatever TV show is his favorite at the time. I really don't CARE about Wizards of Waverly Place and Good Luck Charlie... or do I? Those days snuggled up on the couch are the best times. Moments like him telling me his favorite song, then proceeding to sing it to me, full blast, word for word (or sometimes just making up words). Moments when I call home from work and he says, "Hurry, Mom, log into Facebook so I can skype you and see you." It's about his laughter, his smile, his glasses that slide down his nose sometimes, his shoes that he still doesn't like to put on himself because they are high tops, and let's admit, it just takes too much effort. It's about butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses and times when it's no kisses at all because he's just... too grown up, he says.

It's moments when I look at him across the gym and think he's grown a foot in a day, when he stands next to my Grandma and towers over her, when he hugs me and I realize that I can almost see him eye to eye. Moments when I sit down at my desk and see he's left me a surprise note, or moments when were walking through the parking lot or down the hill and that once-small hand reaches for mine, lacing his fingers through mine, and I realize that his hand is almost a perfect fit. Moments when he says, "Mom, we may disagree on a lot of things, but I think we'd agree that you're the best Mom ever." Although I wouldn't agree with that. How can I be the best Mom when I don't listen, when I'm impatient, when I get angry too easily?

Yes, my baby is growing up. I'd like to think I've grown up a little with him. I may not be the best Mom ever, but it isn't about being the best. It's about making each moment count, and from here on out, that's exactly what I'm going to do.