Authentic

Authentic. Real. Genuine. According to dictionary.com, authentic means, "not false or copied; genuine; real...Authentic carries a connotation of authoritative certification that an object is what it is claimed to be."

That a person is who she claims to be? Can I be real? Genuine? Can I be me???

These questions may seem odd, but they have been rolling around in my head. I'm a big thinker... not like philosophy thinking, or problem-solving thinking, but the older I get the more I realize that I want to be the best I can be. I've wrote often about my resolutions, but one theme that also came up at the New Year was the idea to let one word define your year. One word? That's a huge decision. This one word (or really a collection, because it started as 'real' and then transcended to authentic) kept coming up. Because this is something that I have always struggled with. Not knowing "who" I am, and then being afraid to really be me. Because what if people don't like the real me? What if I'm not good enough?

Today in my devotion, I read Exodus 3, the part where Moses is talking to the burning bush. Moses essentially asks God two questions. The first is a common theme for men and women God calls, "but who am I?" Who am I to approach Pharaoh? Who am I to lead an army of only 300? Who am I to do what you have planned for me? The second is the most important- Who are you, God? "I AM WHO I AM." Yahweh. The Great I Am. And as I struggle with being authentic, this is what he whispers to me. "I know who you are. You are my creation, my masterpiece, a chosen girl. I love you with an everlasting love. I have redeemed you and called you by name. I'm not finished working on you yet. Yes, you have flaws, but in your weakness I am made strong. I AM enough. I AM... and you are who you are in Me." The only important answer to my questions of authenticity lies in me accepting His promises for my life. I may make messes, but He can (and will) redeem them. Every time. For good.

So I'm learning to become comfortable in my own skin. I'm emotional. I'm a big baby. I procrastinate, and am hateful, and tend to complain. But when I love, I really love and I am loyal and caring and empathetic. I'm who I am, by the grace of God. And the only person that I am living for is the Ultimate Judge- an Audience of One. Authentic. Real. True to me. Living what I'm claiming to be... a mess that has been redeemed. Not perfect, but being made perfect in Him.