Thursday, November 13, 2014

My Being Brave

Yesterday I was brave. 

Maybe not brave to you... but like beauty, bravery is in the eye of the beholder.

I turned on the computer.  I logged on to the website.  I searched the classes and clicked the box and clicked submit.

I registered for a class...

that I had quit last summer.

I needed a break.  Spring semester was hard.  I was emotionally and mentally exhausted. I had my priorities mixed up and wasn't that great of a mother or a wife or a friend.

My life had become set around paper writing and article reading and I was just overwhelmed.

So I threw in the towel.

I picked it back up again yesterday.  I wanted to puke when I clicked that button, but I did it.

Because bravery is sometimes about picking it back up again, even when you're not sure.

My graduation date will be pushed back a year, at least... but that's ok with me. I'm in a much better place now.

I'm still not sure I'll be able to finish.  A research project still seems daunting, and statistical analysis has never been nor never will be my cup of tea.

But bravery is continuing on, putting one foot in front of the other... relying on faith and good luck and God.

Mostly relying on God.

And all the brave, shaking in their shoes girls say...

Amen and amen.

A big thank you to Annie Downs and her book Let's All Be Brave.  I read it as part of the bloom (in)courage.me book club.  I've  never thought of myself as brave, and still don't, really, but Annie's book made me think.  Over the course of the past few weeks, I've thought about true bravery.  Veteran's Day is obviously a great time to dwell on that... and following Lauren Hill's brave battle against brain cancer has made me think.  Last week, I watched a little girl that I love cheer on the sideline.  That same little girl's parents were told that there was a possibility that she'd never walk.  Bravely, she's faced surgery after surgery and looks fear in the face.  That is bravery... me, registering for a class?

But God thinks we are all brave in our own ways. Sometimes it is the heroic, over the top... and sometimes it is the pulling back the blankets and stumbling out of bed to face another day.

Brave...

Brave for taking another deep breath and brave for forgiving and brave for saying I'm sorry and brave for moving or staying where you are or writing or speaking or loving. 

I am not brave, but in Christ I can be unafraid. And  you can, too, sweet sister.

12 comments:

  1. Wow wow wow. You ARE brave. This is an amazing post. THANK YOU for writing it. Cheering for you as you go back to school and continue to make the courageous choices. <3

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  2. Lauren, so excited for you as you go back to school! Going to school as a wife and mom is definitely big time BRAVE.

    I agree with you that getting out of bed on some days takes courage. I am so thankful that He goes before me. It helps me to keep putting one foot in front of the other in faith on dark days.

    Blessings xo

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  3. Praise God that you are bravely stepping back into school. Praying that your class is awesome! Thanks for sharing!

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  4. But you are indeed brave. A seminary professor once imparted some words to me after I struggled with a class. He said, "It would have been so easy for you to walk out the door. It takes more guts to stick with it." So good for you for getting back at it.

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  5. This is such an important reminder that God created all of us in unique ways. What is bravery to you may be not even noteworthy for me and vice versa. I wrote a post awhile back about the bravery it took for me to climb on my roof to take a photo for my ebook cover. That was extremely difficult for me and took a tremendous amount of willpower while my husband climbs up and down like he is walking on flat ground. The point is that we need to rely on God to do the things that challenge and grow us. It looks different for each of us. Let us be careful not to judge when ours looks different and remember to cheer each other on. So good for you! Thanks for sharing this message with us today. I'm proud of you, Lauren, because each time we are brave, it becomes easier the next. This is how we grow in Him.

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  6. Great post! Sometimes things seem small but to us they are BIG steps and we have to be brave to take them! So happy for you taking a brave step today.

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  7. Way to go you!!! You are indeed brave! It can be very daunting to think about picking something as big and involved as school back up when the rest of life is going on all around us. You're gonna rock this!

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  8. You ARE brave! Indeed, it is in the eye of the beholder! You go girl! {Thanks for being a part of Inspire Me Monday!}

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  9. Thanks for sharing, Lauren. You are brave for moving forward in your education and for sharing with the world. You inspire us all to be brave with our next steps too.

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  10. Bravery is not in doing that which seems impossible so much as doing that which seems scary or tedious or not-so-fun. Good for you for doing what you know is right--what you need for YOU.

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  11. "And all the brave, shaking in their shoes girls say...

    Amen and amen."

    Yes, there are so many ways to be brave. Thank you for sharing and linking up with Inspire Me Monday. I cannot wait to see your next steps and now mine too! : )

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