Unglued? Who, Me???

It's a lovely fall day outside my window.  The sun is shining and the orange trees are simply glorious. I walked out to take a breath of fresh air, because let's face it, I'm not breathing too well at the moment.  My sinuses have been acting up for the last few weeks, I've been coughing my head off at night, slightly wheezing.  I have a stack of care plans to grade and not one but two papers due a week from yesterday.  That I haven't started on.  And, I have the beginning of the worlds largest fever blister on my lip.  Can anyone relate?

In the midst of all, this, though, I know God is good.  There are days when I feel this to my marrow... and then there are days when I really struggle.  I'm so glad God is able to look past my hangups.  If I had been the one chosen to die for the sins of the world, well, it'd be a hopeless cause, yet He gave it all up, suffered so that I could be pardoned for all of this mess I make of everything.  Whew... does anyone else feel the beads of sweat popping up on your forehead from that one?  The mess I... only me... not my kids or my husband or my coworkers or the log truck I'm behind as I rush to work, late again... me, myself, and I.  I am responsible...

Yet today, as I read Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst, I read something that made me breathe a little more easier.  "Our job is to be obedient.  God's job is results." So maybe I'm not responsible.  Maybe if I were to just breathe a little easier, to sit down on the job just a little, to stop beating myself up when I'm not perfect (hello... is there ever a time when I am???)... well, maybe the world would just keep turning. He's got this.  Under complete and total control, even when I'm not. 

Lysa talks about having a procedure, a pre-planned attack mode to lean on in times of crisis, when all I want to do is pull the cover over my head and eat a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream, while sobbing helplessly and watching a chick flick movie.  I'm having more and more of those moments here lately.  I know it's because I've got too much on my plate, but what's a girl to do?  There's only so many hours in a day...

She then reviews Jehosophat's story in 2 Chronicles.  He was resolved to remember whose he was, he called on the name of the Lord, he praised God in spite of the difficulties... he knew what he needed to do.  As opposed to my attack mode described in previous paragraph. Yeah, I think we know who has it covered here... and it's not the mint chocolate chip ice cream. 

So, this has gotten me thinking.  If God is the one responsible for results, and all I'm responsible for is obedience, then my attack mode needs to be something like this.  Stop.  Be still and open my ears (be still and know I am God).  Be willing... (yes, this means adapt my plan to His.  Even when I might not understand it).  Pray... really pray.  Not the "Lord, you know how bad I want this so why aren't you working with me here?" prayer I'm tempted to pray... but the "Lord, you've got a good plan for my life, a purpose, nothing harmful, and You promised You'd never leave me and I'm counting on that, so I'm claiming the promise that if I let You direct my path You'll lead me in the right way."  And then praise Him in advance.  That's right... be thankful.  Even when I can't see the sunshine... because I know it's still there.

Lord, I know I've got a lot of improving to do.  You know that, too... but today I'm resting in the assurance that You've got the whole world in Your hands, so my little corner can't be too hard to deal with.  I'm clinging to Your promises, because they are good.  You are good.  Help me not focus on my moods or my feelings, but rather focus on You.  Thank You, Father... for Your grace is sufficient.  Even for those unglued moments.  Says the rushed Mom as she hurries out the door to pick up her little one... late.  Again.  Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... =)