Monday, October 15, 2012


Been a few days since I've written.  Seems like everything has been pushed to the back burner as I've been catching up on homework. Today, I spent an hour in my office just sorting through the stuff I've been packing around the last two weeks, trying to figure out what I need to do first.  I feel like my life is in a tailspin.

I'm sure some of you can relate.  I don't know if it is just me, but life gets busier and busier.  I'm sure it's not just me, because everywhere you look you see stuff to help us get organized... but we still aren't.  We have self help books on getting ourselves under control, self help books on being happy, on how to live, on making relationships work, yet we still find ourselves unsatisfied.

I'm feeling that way tonight.  Have been for a few days.  I think it's probably because I've been so overwhelmed the last few days... I'm the kind that when I get overwhelmed, I like to act like an ostrich and bury my head in the sand.  Or under the cover of my bed.  I've not actually been able to do that, but imagining that I can is a good coping mechanism.  Or sitting and spending mindless hours on the internet in avoidance...

The problem with those strategies is that they never really get me anywhere.  And when I come to my senses and realize the sheer panic, I have to about kill myself to get it finished.  Then, I swear I'll never do it again, never procrastinate... yet I do.  Again and again.

And I'm starting to think maybe that's ok.  We were made to live.  I definitely live.  These last few months I've really been thinking about priorities.  No, I don't get it right all the time, but tonight I rather enjoyed sitting on those freezing cold bleachers under a blanket with my Mom watching a game we know nothing about.  Tomorrow, I'll enjoy watching Caleb hike the ball and watching Wallace pace on the sideline.  I'll probably have to sit up late grading, but that's ok, too. 

Life is short.  Landry won't be playing soccer forever.  Mom won't be climbing bleachers forever (though I'm willing to bet we will push her up in a wheelchair).  Caleb will soon grow up, and Wallace won't be stomping (ok, he'll probably be one of those who die on the sideline...)

Every day is a gift.  Even if I don't get it right... I'm getting it.  And I'm going to enjoy what I've got.  Now, I better go work on lecture notes for tomorrow.  And grade some care plans... and work on a leadership paper. Or act like an ostrich...

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