This morning I crossed something off my bucket list. Wallace and I went ziplining at Red River Gorge (although I still didn't think it was at the gorge. I don't think of the gorge when I think of Cliffview Resorts, but regardless...)
Wallace and I have been together for a long time... it's been 12 years of ups and downs in our marriage. In 12 years, we've both done a lot of growing up and changing and that's part of marriage, adjusting to those changes. Some couples never do. Some couples decide it's not worth it. We're still holding on, so I guess that's good...
Anyway, we don't get to do a whole lot of stuff just the two of us. Add Caleb to the mix, and then there's usually ballgames or work or church or me running to volunteer at something or Wallace just running... Seems like there's never enough time in the day to do what we want to get accomplished, and in this season of our lives, we've just been focusing on other stuff. Guys may not think this is a big deal, but girls tend to overanalyze... and Wallace says I worry about stuff that I never should. So this morning we set out and drove to the gorge and took a leap of faith.
I'm a big chicken. Wallace isn't afraid of anything. I wasn't always like this. I can remember being a little girl and climbing trees in my Mamaw's yard. I'd climb on top of the house to hang Christmas lights and walk in the creek in the middle of the summer and never think about snakes. Maybe it's not so much that I wasn't afaid, just that I never really thought about the danger in things. Today, though, as I stood on the first platform that wasn't even that high off the ground, my brain was racing. I really wanted to do this... to say that I hadn't been afraid and to experience the feeling of flying through the air. But I was so out of my comfort zone...
So I made Wallace go ahead of me. Because somehow knowing he'd be on the platform when I got finished made it ok. He accused me a couple of weeks ago of being comfortable... and I'm guilty. Because even though he has his flaws, he's still my safety net, I am comfortable, because I know that regardless, he'll catch me if I fall. He might give me a good talking to as he's helping me back up, but nonetheless pull me up he will.
So on 3 of the 5 zips, he went before me. By the last 2, which were 250 ft off the ground, I was able to open my eyes and actually enjoy it. The blue skies above me, the green trees below me, the wind hitting my face, the sun warm (ok... it was hot. Let's be realistic)... God's glory and splendor at its finest. And so we raced... but I still let him jump first.
And it's been that way our whole marriage, I've just never really given in to admitting it. That's the way that it's supposed to be. "Wives, submit to your husband" isn't necessarily a bad thing... as long as he's leading you in the right direction.
Today, on Independence Day, I had an epiphany. Freedom is really about not having fear.... whether it is fear of a dictator or fear of self-doubt. Our freedom was bought by the ultimate price of men and women years ago, and today who are still fighting. America is truly beautiful...and today I experienced it first hand, flying over the trees. Complete and utter freedom... with my safety net waiting =)
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