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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Psalm 61

There's something about being grateful and having a good week that does something to you.  This weekend has been full of fun and laughter and good times spent with family and friends.  I've read and took long baths and got my Christmas tree up (not without a few words...).  So it's been a successful break.

But tomorrow is Monday and the devil is already hitting hard.  Stuff for work that just won't work the way I want to, and insecurities about who I am have been hitting me all night.  Sometimes I just feel so helpless... and I know that you probably do, too.

It's easy to live a Christian life when you are secluded in the four walls of your house.  When you have to deal with people, well, that complicates things.  And when you are a mess yourself, fighting feelings of self-doubt and jealousy, well, it's doubly so. 

Nights like this, I just want to cry.  And I know it is because it is the end of the semester and the beginning of all of the hustle and bustle that comes from the Christmas season... and I'm overwhelmed.  And that's just how the devil wants it, because if he can take our joy and gratitude and get our mind on what this time of the year has become, instead of how it all started, then he's won. 

I'm fighting it, but tonight I'm losing... however, I know that in the end I have the victory.  I just have to claim it. As I'm sitting here feeling defeated, though, I just don't know how. 

Sometimes, the best answer is one that has been proven before.  The psalmist wrote, "Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer.  From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.  For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. "- Psalm 61:1-4.

He hears us.  He knows the depths of our hearts, even when we don't act like He does.  He is our shelter, our rock, our stong tower.  He is here. 

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