Heart for Eternity

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end."- Ecclesiastes 3:11

I finished reading You're Already Amazing by Holley Gerth today.  Such a wonderful read, and the videos that she did with Angie and Jessica on Incourage Me. com are great, too.  (Check out Bloom, their book club.)  Anyway, the last chapter was about being made for more.

How many times have I struggled through a day... busy, hectic, not looking up, worrying about crossing off my to do list only to see five or ten more things added on?  Exhausted when my head hit the pillow... hitting snooze on the alarm clock for just ten minutes more of sleep.  Grouchy and hateful and unsure of myself, always thinking "There has to be more to life.  I've got to do more... schedule more... BE more."  The truth is, yes, there is more...

We were made for more.  We were made for a perfect relationship with God, and then there was the apple.  A fall from grace, to grace... because God loved us so much.  Everything is beautiful in its own time... the garden was beautiful.  Christ's birth and death was beautiful.  My life is beautiful... but as Ann Voskamp describes it, sometimes it's an ugly beautiful.  Life is hard, but in the midst of those struggles, we are made new.  Beauty from ashes... in its own time.

Eternity in our heart.  Sometimes when I sit and think about heaven I am overwhelmed.  Can you imagine it?  I can't... no death, no tears, eternal praise.  All of those loved ones.  And all those who I can't wait to hear from- Ruth and Rahab and Mary, Paul and Peter and the beloved John.  My great grandparents and those elders in my church who have gone on.  Eternal rest... eternity in my heart.  And so when I am busting my butt down here, and things still seem to go wrong, I know that my disappoinment isn't just in present day problems.  It's because I want to go there... I need to go there.  To be with Jesus, forever. 

And even though we KNOW that we have that promise, and that it will be realized, we still don't fully grasp it.  We don't understand it from beginning to end.  That's why we continue to struggle, to do all we can, to find fulfillment in LIFE here, even though we seem like we are empty.  I've heard Beth Moore call it a "God-shaped hole", and that's exactly what we have... what we will have, until we cross over. 

As I've come to realize this, I'm more at peace.  No, I'm not perfect.  Yes, I still struggle with anger. I still lash out at Wallace and Caleb.  I still try to over commit, and then get mad at myself.  But I'm slowly finding balance.  I have to work, but there's time for play.  Things I volunteer are important to me, but so is reading my Bible.  Yes, I need to do laundry, but I also need to walk.  So tonight I walked with Caleb. I passed a football for thirty minutes.  I took a long bubble bath, and I'm going to go to bed before 11 PM tonight, so I can wake up rested for a busy day tomorrow. Got a test to work up, homework and clinical work to grade, a Relay newsletter and article to write.  Eternity may be in my heart, but I've still got to be accountable for down here.  And if I let God plan my day, He'll make joy even in the darkest moments.  Even in a fallen world.