Sunday, January 14, 2018

On My Writing

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to write. I think my fascination began from my love for reading. I devoured as many books as I could as a young child, and the ability of words to transport me to another place, to change the way I felt and looked at things, prompted me to have a great love for the written world.

As early as 3rd grade, I considered myself a writer. One of my best friends and I wrote an illustrated a scary story, about a haunted mansion. I can't even remember what the story was about, but I know that I felt accomplished when I looked at those stapled pieces of paper.

Whether a journal, an essay, or short stories, my love for writing continued through my schooling. (Just not poetry. I don't really even like to read poetry, although I am trying to acquire a taste for it by reading Walt Whitman right now). I was in journalism and loved writing articles for the newspaper. I was the nerd who actually enjoyed writing persuasive pieces and reflective pieces. In college, English 101 and 102 were two of my favorite classes and I actually enjoyed writing my research paper (although I have to say that after hours of reading research articles and writing responses and developing a portfolio academic writing isn't my favorite).

I got away from writing for a while as work and school and life in general called... but as an introvert I feel like I have so much to say and writing is a safe way to get it all out. I felt limited by the number of characters allowed in a facebook post (when there was a limit) so I decided to start this blog. I recognize that some days I don't have much to say. There are a lot of days when my writing is just rambling, and may not make sense to anyone but me... but then there are days when I've got a message and I just have to get it out.

When I'm not writing, I feel unbalanced. My soul gets heavy. I don't know how to explain it, exactly, except to say that I process better when typing out my feelings. I'm appreciative of all of those who may read what I write, because it's written for an audience of One (God alone), but sometimes some of you tell me that what I've written has impacted you.

I used to say I wanted to be a writer. Now I say I am a writer. My dream is to write a book... but I'm not sure that it will happen. I just ask that God uses this space and my words to bring Him glory... and to bring whomever reads these words hope, comfort, and peace... and the realization that you're not in this world alone.

That blinking cursor haunts me at times, but sometimes I feel like there's a mighty river flowing as my hands pound the keyboard, and I often find that what I mean to say isn't at all what comes out. I start off with one idea and then it goes in another direction. I'm learning to let it go because chances are it's something I need to read myself... or something that someone else needs to read. Not that I have a huge audience, and that's ok. I'm not about audience, as I said. Writing, to me, is therapy. It helps me make sense of the chaos. It's cleansing. It's purifying... and I hope it's a blessing to others.

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