Five Minute Friday: Quiet

Some days it's soothing. The emptiness allows my thoughts to come together. My to do list grows but seems manageable. I process what I read, and think about what could be.

And then some days, the emptiness is overwhelming. It almost seems smothering. My thoughts scream in my head, telling me I'm not good enough or I don't have what it takes.

The TV stays off, black, and I'm curled up under a blanket on the couch reading a book. I can picture the characters in my head and can hear them talking.

But sometimes I need the music, as I sit in my office and try to work. Being productive usually means a little bit of noise, as though my brain can't work well enough if it doesn't have something to drown out those thoughts.

During the week, I welcome it but rarely get it. The bouncing of basketballs and the squeak of shoes, of the scoreboard buzzing and popcorn crunching in my teeth...

Or the sound of my fingers on the keyboard, or of IV pumps beeping.

Random noises that remind me of myself.

They keep me honest.

But after five days straight of the cacophony of chaos, the introvert is thankful when I'm up earlier than everyone else in my house. My bare feet slap against the cold floor, cutting through the air and making sure I'm awake.

And I'm content to sit and breathe it in, this lifeline... that keeps me semi-sane.

Linking up with Five Minute Fridays, where we write about one prompt for five minutes, free from editing. This week's word?

Quiet.