Saturday, August 24, 2013

What's on My Mind

If I've learned anything in my life, it is that nothing is black or white, and that decisions are made based on our own preconceived notions. I've had a lot on my mind, and I really need to clear my head. Thoughts are bouncing around in there and all it has served to do is to give me a nervous stomach.

Earlier this week I wrote about love and hate, and I'm choosing love. Sometimes it is hard. The thing about hate is, it only hurts you. The other person most of the time doesn't even care; in fact, sometimes they actually thrive on those negative emotions. I'm currently reading Auschwitz: A New History. It's a pretty heavy read, and the author is just now talking about the final extermination plan of the Jews. The sad thing is, it was all considered to be not just right, but necessary for the German nation to kill so many people, because food and resources were scarce and these people were not contributing to society. And the Jews knew better to respond, because if they did, it would only further infuriate those in authority over them.

Today, we shudder at these thoughts, but we still live in a world where our own perceptions guide our decisions. We fail to think that there are two sides to every story, and in our emotional states we are unable to look past the things that outrage or sadden us to think about that other side. Every action has a reason behind that action, and while it may hurt at times, the individual would not make decisions if they didn't feel that they had a legitimate reason to do so. Sometimes, not every facet of information is available. That whole Paul Harvey thing about the rest of the story? It's true...we never know the rest of the story.

It's my belief that we should not have to defend our actions. I agree that everyone should be held accountable for things, and that sometimes decisions affect people in a negative manner, but in personal decisions, things happen for a reason.  Noone should have to live a life where everyone second-guesses their decisions. We can hash things out and debate and sling mud, and the only thing it does is get everyone dirty, and quite frankly, I've never really liked dirt.

God's mercies are new every morning, and I'm thankful for that. And if He extends grace towards me, and I freely accept it, how can I not extend grace to others? By His strength, and for His glory, it's what I'm trying to do.

I may not always be perfect... in fact, I'm never perfect. I struggle every single day of my life. There have been times when I've trembled in anger, when I've felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. Words hurt, and whenever something is said or done toward you or someone you love, it is especially true. In the past, I most definitely would have lashed out, but I'm reminded that we are to attempt to control our tongue through the Holy Spirit's power. I don't think it is coincidence that God has been reminding me to Remain in Him. To Abide in Him. To be fruitful. To forgive those who hurt me. To love my enemies. And to confess that at times I probably need to ask for forgiveness and understanding, too.

I'm almost hesitant to post this because I don't want people to think I'm pointing fingers. I'm not. I don't want to start another firestorm, nor do I want anyone's sympathy. I'm telling anyone who reads this that today, I'm thankful for God's grace. I'm thankful for His love, and for His blessings, and for His peace over decisions that no one else may understand. And I'm moving on. Living life in each moment, because that's all we've been offered. I'm praying for the same for anyone who may read this post. May you look to the future, but love the present. May it be everything you ever imagined. Former things have passed away. He's made all things new...

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