One of My Greatest Gifts

This weekend I ran across a couple of old videos of Caleb.  He has those glasses that slide down his nose and I can't tell for sure but I think he is missing a couple of front teeth.  In the throes of speech therapy, you have to listen really close to understand just what he's saying.  He's lying on Holly's bed, driving the school bus. How my baby did love cars, trucks, tractors and buses!

Not long ago, I snapped a picture of him at the front door, his backpack bigger than him.  He's on his way to preschool, the first day of many adventures. 

I could cry looking at this picture.  I can hear his little voice in my head.  That backpack is a Go, Diego, Go backpack... he used to watch Dora and Diego constantly.  He's wearing a polo shirt "like his daddy" and that smile contains a front tooth with a tiny chip in it, even though you can't see it. 

My boy didn't like school, but he sure loved Ms. Charlene and Ms. Nora and Ms. Judy.  I'd go in many a day to pick him up and find him in one of their laps.  He never wanted to stay for naptime, because he was too busy to nap, so Papaw William would make the 17 mile drive to pick up his boy.

So many mornings of walking him into school, of him holding my hand, of tears shed (mine included).  Of sitting in bleachers at Highland Turner and walking him to class.  Of me having to whisper prayers of 2 Timothy 1:7 and Philippians 4:13 as we walked in...

And then this morning.  No holding hands, no tears, no whispered words of encouragement.  This man-child running off and leaving me as we walked into the building.  Him not even really looking back as he climbed the bleachers to sit with his new old friends.

And while I'm glad, a part of this Mama's heart hurts just a little, because it seems he doesn't need me quite as much...

But I know that is a good thing. 

All this year I've been counting gifts... I'm well over 1,000 now.  Gifts like sunshine and good books and family, laundry detergent and my spot on the couch, kind words and His Word...

But this right here just might be one of the greatest gifts of all.  A mama seeing her baby grow up, anxious for all that this new school year has to offer.  And He understands that, because He has a son, too. 

"For God so loved the world that He gave HIs only begotten son, so that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

And that is the greatest gift.