A Girl's Guide to Moving On: A Review

I've never really thought of myself as a romantic. I consider myself much too sensible for that. Being that I am married to someone who definitely isn't a romantic, I may just be making excuses. I like the idea of romance... I just don't seem to see much of it in my own life, and I'm not complaining.

That may be why I love Debbie Macomber so much.

I first discovered Macomber's Cedar Cove series a few years ago and was hooked. Macomber writes with a flair for the romance, but her characters are real to life. Mistakes they make, things they say... I could see myself doing them.

A Girl's Guide to Moving On is no different. This novel features an unlikely alliance between a mother-in-law and her ex-daughter-in-law. Both hurt by love. Both trying to figure out independence. Both looking to move on, but not being sure how. In their turmoil, they provide each other support and develop three rules to help guide them on their way. These rules focus on moving forward rather than wallowing in pain, reaching out to others, and putting themselves in new situations by fostering new friendships.

As they step out into new territory, they learn that love can come from the most unlikely places, and that the bitterness of love lost can turn sweet through new hope. There's just enough drama thrown into to entice the reader, but this is an easy read for a cold winter's day snuggled up on the couch.

I would give this book 5 stars because of the writing style, which is easy to follow. Macomber uses narration from both Nichole and Leanne, in alternating chapters, so that the reader gets the story from different perspectives. The characters are loveable; you find yourself cheering for them and wishing them the best.

The story puts a new spin on the mother-in-law relationship and shows that family doesn't always mean blood relation. It offers hope that good can come from bad circumstances.

So if you're looking for an easy, light-hearted read, I'd highly recommend this book.

I received free access to this book through Netgalley.com and am posting this review on their website. This book is available for purchase on February 13, 2016. I receive no compensation from Amazon for using their link with the book information.

 

Five Minute Friday: Present

There was recently an article going around Facebook that showed a series of pictures.

The people in them are lying on the couch or sitting at the dinner table.

They appear pretty absurd... because in each picture, they should have been holding a cell phone.

Actually, they were, but the phone was photoshopped out.

It shows how scarily connected we are to our cell phones.

I noticed it the other night at Beauty and the Beast. At the beginning of the play, the announcer said, "This story took place in a time before cell phones, so please put them up at this time."

Kami leaned over to me and said, "That means you."... because I am so guilty.

It's a habit, really, this scrolling on my screen. I do it at ballgames when I get nervous and I do it when I get lonely.

So, at intermission, you look...

And there we all sit. With out iphones and galaxies, those little screens lit up and our fingers flying on the keyboard.

We miss out on memories because we are trying to think of how we should frame them on social media.

Now don't get me wrong. I love social media...

but sometimes it is too easy to get swept away by what is on the other side of that screen and miss the person sitting right next to you.

As my word of the year is purpose, I've resolved to be more intentional. More aware of others.

More present.

Present in my environment. Present to the people around me.

Not thinking about yesterday. Not worrying about tomorrow.

But enjoying the here. The now. The present.

Laughing at what they say and hugging long and hard and looking them in the eye.

This morning I read a quote posted on facebook (see, social media!) by Ann Voskamp. It's attributed to Jim Elliot. "Wherever you are, just be there."

The greatest gift you can give to yourself? To someone else?

Appreciation of the present.

So today I'm appreciating my heater and my warm from the dryer sweatshirt as the snow pours down outside. And when Caleb asks to go outside, I just may brave the cold to soak up some snow time with him.

Linking up with five minute Friday, where we write for five minutes on one prompt, unedited. Today's prompt?

Present.

Peace that Passes

I'm looking out my window at blue skies right now.


Nothing sinister to be noted.


We  had a flurry of snowflakes yesterday that caused my work and Caleb's school to be canceled.


Today I came in and was as productive as one can be when anticipating Snow-pocalypse.


As I'm anticipating the 8-12 inches we are going to get beginning tomorrow (y'all... wasn't there a time when forecasters were wrong? I'm clinging to that hope...) I'm also thinking of a lovely beach somewhere. The sun is warm on my face, and the waves are lapping my feet...


Although I told you yesterday that I'm not good at guided imagery, I'm willing to try.


Here's the thing. This snow forecast is a lot like life. I can plan to be off work for a week because we'll be snowed in...


but then the storm moves a little north or a little south and we don't have nearly the accumulation we were told we'd have.


And there I am, stuck, with nothing ready for class next week.


(Which, even though I am a procrastinator, is NOT the case.  In fact, I had stuff ready for next week last week. My dedication to my planner this semester has been a beautiful, beautiful thing... at least three weeks in.)


But in life, it's the same thing. We worry and plan and worry and plan...


and then NOTHING that we worried about comes to fruition.


But something totally unexpected happens, and because we had never considered that scenario, we have no clue what we're supposed to do.


Or we become paralyzed by all of those make believe worries and are unable to respond to any obstacle we face.


I'm a worrier, y'all. As in I come up with a million scenarios. I usually talk myself into not even starting something because I'm afraid I won't know how to finish it.


But that's not what God wants for me.


He tells us in His Word to be anxious for NOTHING.


Nothing- no storm, no unexpected event, no something you've worried about endlessly that probably will never take place.


Nope. Nothing.


So... how do we not worry?


Turn to Him. In everything. Pray and ask Him.  Tell Him what you need. Tell Him your worries. (From another verse, throw those cares right at Him like a great big ol' minnow to catch a fish.)


And when we do this? When we pray and seek Him and ask Him for His help?


He will give us peace.


Not just any peace.


Peace that passes all understanding.  You can't even fathom it... but it's there.


And it's a beautiful thing.

Beauty and the Beast

Another one of those days when I really don't have much to write.... so I pulled up a list of writing prompts I found on Pinterest.

And nothing there really struck my fancy, either.

Although one of them was if you could be an animal for a day, what would you be (addressed yesterday)... and another was what color would you be? I explained how I'm not creative enough for those icebreakers. I tend to lean more on the literal.

I don't have much of an imagination. When I was young, I used to have a great imagination. I spent a lot of my time creating stories and pretending to be other people... but somehow lost that.

I mean, I'm one of those people who can't read a book after I've seen a movie because I can't imagine the character as anyone other than the actor or actress. I don't like relaxation techniques because they ask you to "close your eyes. Imagine walking along a beach. The waves are hitting on the shore and the sun is shining on your face. Imagine the sun warming your face..."

I can't imagine it... but I sure wish I could right about now.

That's why I wasn't sure about how great Beauty and the Beast would be. I've watched plays at Jenny Wiley, and they've been good, but I'm not good at stretching my imagination when they change scenes.

But last night... I was enthralled. Even with minimal scenery, the actors and actresses swept you into the story. The props were just enough so that you could imagine the scenes, and the costumes (especially for the Beast and his household) were perfect.

I was enchanted.

Beauty and the Beast has always been one of my favorite Disney movies, perhaps because it is about a girl who always has her nose in a book. I love the songs and the storyline of how love prevails. The message that you can't always go by appearances is timeless, and may be even more relevant in today's social media driven society.

I couldn't tell you how long it has been since I've saw that movie, but I knew most songs word for word. I found myself wiping tears as Belle and the Beast sat in the library discovering King Arthurs's Court and then as they danced after dinner.

And the transformation back to the Prince? Magical.

I've never been to Broadway, and have always wanted to go... and last night's show made me a believer.

Plus it was a delightful time with my Mom and sisters... a must repeat performance.

Just Call Me Bear...

In meetings, I always struggle with those icebreaker questions.


You know... what kind of fruit would you be?


If you were a color, would you be red or blue?


What kind of animal would you choose to be?


Last night I decided,  though.


If I could be an animal, I would be a bear.


Y'all, it is cold here in Kentucky. It was 16 degrees when I started my car up. It was so cold that even with my automatic starter and the heat turned on high, there was still snow/frost on my windshield.


I know I sound a little whiny.


I know it's nothing compared to negative temperatures like they experience in the Dakotas. Or Wisconsin.


(That is where they experience negative temperatures, right? I'll admit I've  never traveled to North or South Dakota, so I have no idea what the temperatures are like. I'm just going by my memory of the TV show Fargo... wasn't that a TV show? Because I am sometimes guilty of making things up in my mind and not knowing if they are the truth or not. And also, Green Bay fans always look cold when they are playing in January...)


But, anyway, I don't like the cold. I don't like snow, except on Christmas, and also on days when we have snow days, but that's only because I can snuggle under my electric blanket with a  good book and pretend like I have nothing to do because I live in a snow globe.


So, as I covered up under my electric blanket and thought about the probability that my boys would not have school the next day, I came up with my bear theory. And y'all, it makes perfect sense. Bears get to eat whatever they want to store up body fat...


so they can sleep all winter.


No trekking through the snow for them. No worrying about not being able to button their pants or having to go start a car.


Nope, they eat and then they sleep until the temperature is warm.


Sounds like a plan to me!

A Damsel In Distress

This morning I read in Ruth, one of my favorite books of the Bible. No matter how many times I read it, the story tugs at my heart.

First, you have Naomi, who has literally lost everything. She's in a strange land. Her husband has died. Her two sons have died.

In those days, it wasn't like she could just decide to go back to school and support herself.  The fact that she was left without a husband or male children meant that she would be a burden on society. She would be forced to take whatever handouts she could get and live on those.

So she decides to return home.

To a home, mind you, that she really doesn't have... because she wasn't allowed to own property.

To a home that she has been away from for a long time. Will they even know her?

There's that old saying about you can't return home again... but Naomi returned.

I'm not sure how far she traveled to go home. I still can't fathom in my mind walking from country to country the way that they had to... with no gas station to sell Diet Coke or no McDonalds golden arches or no hotel to check into... not even a rest stop with a toilet.

I can't even get that image in my mind.

But she put one foot in front of another, and her two daughters in law went with her.

They must have loved her.

No bad mother in law jokes here. They were willing to leave their home, everything that they knew, to follow a woman who could promise them nothing. No security. They didn't even know what she was returning to...

So she persuaded one to turn back. I'm pretty sure I'd be like Orpha. I love my mother in law, but to trek to another place that I know nothing about to depend on the kindness of strangers?

Nope, I'd just be heading right back to my Daddy's tent and reminding him of how much he loved me when he married me off to that foreigner.

But Ruth. She stays with Naomi. She follows her on that long, dusty road.

"Entreat me not to leave thee...."

She says.

I'll go where you go, even if I don't know where that is or anything about it.

That's faith.

I'll live where you live, even if it is in a tent, even if it is under a bush because we have no means for anything else.

That's dedication.

Your people will be my people, even if they look different and talk different and behave different.

That's a new identity.

Your God will be my God, even though I can't understand one God who is sovereign and merciful... and how that God could allow everything that you had to be snatched away from you.

That's relationship, not just religion.

And I recognize that I may die, that our journey isn't going to be easy... but where you die, I'll die, and I'll be buried there.

Because I may not understand it, but I know that Your God has a plan. I may not be able to put into words.. and I see that you are suffering... but Your God will make a way.

Or maybe she just had a bad relationship with her own folks...

But regardless of her reasoning, Ruth set out with Naomi.

It couldn't have been a pleasant journey. They were penniless. Naomi tells people later to call her bitter, so her disposition probably wasn't the most pleasant.

But Ruth is faithful.

And then, when they get to their destination. Ruth sets out to care for Naomi in the only way she knows how.

She goes to a field to pick crops.

Not just any crops. She gleans those which were left behind by someone else.

How many of us would be willing to do that? To willingly take the leftovers? To work hard for those left overs? I see so much entitlement in this world- I deserve the biggest and the best.

But we're told to be humble.

So Ruth worked hard. She continued...

kept going. Even though she didn't know the outcome. She's a damsel in distress that isn't just sitting around waiting for her prince to come.

But... her prince does come. He sees what she is doing. He's heard how she cared for Naomi. He provides for her and then serves as her redeemer... giving her everything she ever dreamed and even more.

You may feel like you've had the rug swept out from under you. That you've lost everything. You may tell others to call you bitter. You may be working hard and think no one's noticing. You may be gleaning seconds and feeling left out. You may feel like giving up...

but there's someone watching you. He's numbered your days and knows how many hairs you have on your head. He sees you working... and is faithful that He'll help you complete that work, in His time. He longs for you to turn to Him and ask Him to redeem you... and you'll be able to stop working so hard, because He's already done all the necessary work.

Wow. 

Thank you, Jesus.

A New Resolution

So, here we are.

Just over two weeks into the New Year.

We may finally be writing 2016 on our papers... or we may still catch ourselves with 2015 on our door schedules for the office.

The new year is no longer shiny and bright.

We're back in school, praying for snow days.

We're in all day Friday meetings, thankful for long weekends.

This year, I chose one word for 2016. Purpose. I want to live a life of purpose, being intentional. Looking at each day to ensure that I do all I can to fulfill God's purpose for my life.

Keeping purpose as my focus will hopefully impact my daily decisions. My attitude. My responses to other people, even.

But because I like lists, and like planning, I didn't just stop at one word.

I developed some goals to focus on. Sixteen of them, to be exact. Some are things that I do every year. Resolve to exercise more, be more thankful, read my Bible all the way through. Others I thought of because I want my life to be a purposeful city on a hill... so I resolved to be kinder through random/unrandom acts of kindness, to spend more time with those I love, to laugh every day, to write out a Scripture every day... small things that add up in the log run.

I've done pretty well. I've not exercised every day, but I'm still on target for the goal that I set. And I've not read my Bible reading plan every day, but I have read something in the Bible every day. Most days I've done something kind for someone, and I've been able to record a moment where I laughed every day.

But here's the thing...

I don't know how long I'll be consistent. Life has a way of getting into our plans. Expect the unexpected... and sometimes that comes in the form of late night ballgames, or running to town on errands for someone, or even taking a whole evening to snuggle with your baby niece.

And that's ok...

because life truly is more about the journey than the destination (well, ok... it's a whole lot about the ultimate destination... because that should influence every decision I make). You see, this resolution or goal setting thing is a process. Forming good habits and changing my perspective is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. And really, it doesn't happen through anything that I do. I can CHOOSE to make good decisions, but there will still be the day when I don't respond like I should, because I'm human and fleshly.

But God.

The two greatest words in the human language.

Even on those days when I lose my resolve, when I question my purpose, when I let me intentions drift away and choose to stay in bed under the covers because I just can't face the day...

God is there. And He is doing a good thing.

So, if you're like 30% of the population and have already given up on your resolution... or if you didn't even set one, there's good news for you.

Today can be Day One.

"I don't know about you, but I seem to be in need of a Day One resolution- a new one every day! Every single day I need to make a new commitment to put God first, trust Him with my life, and keep fighting the good fight."- Matthew West, Day One

As I seek my daily purpose, may I focus on commitment to Him... and that purpose will be fulfilled because He has a greater plan.

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning."- Lamentations 3:22-23