Doing This Thing Daily

This weekend I sat and listened to Angela Thomas talk about filling up my Jesus cup and life was good.

Tonight, four days later, I'm on empty. 

Caleb had a mini temper tantrum and instead of responding sweetly and kindly, I had my own mini temper tantrum.  Oh, who am I kidding. There was nothing mini about it.  And to be honest, I NEVER respond sweetly or kindly.  Or if I do, it's through clinched teeth.

We come up with this idea of what our life is going to be like, and sadly it never is.  That doesn't mean life is bad, or wrong, or even something that we don't like.  It just isn't how we thought it would be when we were thirteen and dreaming about Uncle Jesse on Full House, with his awesome wife and those two adorable kids.  Or Jon Bon Jovi and his wild hair.  You get the point. 

I've got it good.  I know I do.  Sometimes it just takes me getting to the bottom of those reserves to remember it.  Because I'm nothing on my own, and let's face it, if it's up to me to make sure Caleb turns out right, there's not a snowballs chance in you know where... because I'm human.  I must choose daily to crucify the flesh, and this flesh of mine has more than nine lives. 

Paul got that, though. He said we had to die daily to ourselves.  Jesus said we had to take up our cross daily.  And thank God, Lamentations says that His mercy is new EVERY morning.  That means that daily we receive fresh grace, and I'm convinced that God knows just how much grace we need every day.  Somedays it's more than others.

He's good.  I know that.  And I'm so very blessed.  I just need to remember that it is in Him that I live, move, and have my being.  And He's so not finished with me yet.  And maybe, just maybe, if I keep on counting to ten or ten thousand, Caleb will one day rise up and call me blessed. 

His grace is sufficient for even that.