Rejoicing

I'm participating in a Bible study through a Hello Morning group focusing on 1 Peter.  Today, we read in 1 Peter 1:3-12.  Each day, we have to choose a word to meditate on.  This morning, the word that stood out to me was rejoice.

I've had a rough couple of weeks. Some things have happened and come to my attention that I've not really been too happy about, and I'm the type that keeps dwelling on the bad even though I tell myself not to.  Add that in with the Biostats class I had Saturday, and I was just a negative Nancy this morning.  As I read those verses, though, speaking of rejoicing in our trials because they allowed us to be refined, I started thinking of how trials shape us.  We become stronger through the fire, and see how God brings himself glory.

We rejoice in how God protects us, shaping our faith through receiving the gift of salvation.  We rejoice in Him that we love yet have not seen, because it is through that great love that we receive the promise of eternal life.  We rejoice because Christ's sufferings enabled us to be free, free from guilt and shame and sin.

So tonight, I'm rejoicing... though it may be quiet.  And that's ok.  I'm rejoicing for high school love that somehow changes as we get older, to something a little more sweet than we could have imagined... but only through troubles.  I'm rejoicing in volleyball  losses because there are lessons learned in losing.  I'm rejoicing in Caleb... because let's face it, he's a true gift.  Even in his meanness... he is mine. 

Today was another rough day... felt like I was pulled in so many directions.  Work, work, work, run, run, run, grading and hitting the treadmill and helping Caleb study and ironing and just the day to day work... and I didn't rejoice all day.  In fact, I got pretty crabby and hateful.  Then, as I sat down to write, I realized how I had failed... but there is something to rejoice in that, too.  It's only through my weakness, my failure, that He can be strong in me, only when I acknowledge my mistakes and messes that He can fix them, and fix me.  So thank you, Lord... for giving me joy in the darkness and for using all things for Your glory.  I'm so not worth it...