Hard is not Impossible

How is it that another weekend has come and gone?  I'm so not ready for Monday morning, but it will come regardless...

I'm starting Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst.  Today I read the first two chapters and took notes.  One quote that really resonated with me was, "Hard doesn't mean impossible."  In Lysa's context, she is talking about controlling our emotions and how they lead us to react.  This is nearly impossible for me.  Lysa describes different reactor types (I've not gotten to them yet), and depending on the situation, I react differently, but it is hard for me to differentiate between my feelings and the truth.  I feel like a failure, God tells me I'm chosen.  I feel stupid, God tells me that if I call on Him He'll show me great things and that if I lack wisdom I should ask and it be given to me.  I feel unloved at times, God says He's loved me with an everlasting love.  So even though it is hard for me to seperate feelings from truth, I  know that nothing is impossible for God and that His Spirit is working within me.

Needless to say, we'll still come Unglued.  Case in point?  I logged onto SPSS tonight and set out to do my first homework assignment.  Now for those of you who are unfamiliar with Biostats, all I can tell you is that I would probably do just as good taking a boat to Africa, going into the deepest jungle, and trying to speak the native language.  Ok, maybe it's not that bad.  Sadly, though, I'm just not a numbers girl... never have been, never will.  I got a headache.  My heart started pounding.  I worked on the assignment and just when I thought I had it figured out, I realized I didn't.  So I started over.  It still wasn't right.  Wallace, calm as he is, was answering my questions, and I had my two books out.  The tutorial video wouldn't work.  Did I mention that I had a headache?  ADHD Wallace decided that at that moment, it would be a good time to move the old couch out of the office so that he could move the treadmill in.  So he proceeds to pick the couch up.  It won't fit through the door.  He pushes and pushes and shakes the computer desk.  The whole time I'm sitting there staring at all these numbers and getting more depressed by the minute.  More Unglued...

I didn't scream.  I didn't even quarrel.  I just decided that I'd done all of it I could.  Tomorrow will be a new day. (For a procrastinator like me, that's an awesome plan. Scarlett was my hero).  I saved my work and emailed it to myself so I could try to watch the tutorial tomorrow evening sometime.  I even calmly expressed myself to Wallace.  He had no clue he had upset me. 

Yes, this class is hard.  It's not impossible.  I just need a new perspective.  A good night's sleep, and it will seem better.  And even if it doesn't, I'll make it through.  All things work together, and God's got a plan =)