Monday, April 6, 2015

Will You Be My Friend?

In my quietness, I've been contemplating lots of deep stuff over the last month.

Like why Kentucky had to lose this weekend.

And what my summer reading list will consist of.

And also why it seems to be muddy every stinkin' time I have to go to clinical.

But on a serious note, I've been brooding... gloomy... unsure....

And I don't really know why.

Just for the sake of being real, I'll admit something that I'm pretty sure someone else may relate to... or maybe it is just me, which validates my feelings.

I may or may not be a little lonely.

Now, that may seem crazy to you... but here is the deal.

I am married to the biggest extrovert on earth. He never meets a stranger and his cell phone is never quiet. And most of the time, I'm okay with that. I'd much rather retreat to a corner with a good book or my Kindle or my cell phone...

because I'm an introvert.

But even introverts need human contact.

Lately, I've been thinking of friendship.

I've never been one to have a whole gaggle of friends. In grade school, I had a couple of good girlfriends but always felt more comfortable hanging out with the guys. They were much less likely to stab you in the back.

And in high school, I had my cheerleading friends and my chorus friends and my yearbook friends and the friends that I took most of my classes with. They helped me stay sane and pass calculus and chemistry.

Nursing school brought a couple more friends, but we were just trying to survive.

And I've never been one to share my deepest feelings with others. I don't like feeling vulnerable...

But that's what friendship is.  And in our social media world, we can have 2,000 friends yet still feel lonely.  We can stand in a crowded room and still feel alone.

I'm tired of superficial relationships... but I don't really know what I'm supposed to do about it.

I've never been good at making friends.

The Bible said to be a friend you have to show yourself friendly. I thought it was interesting that I started this blog last night and then this little post from Lisa Jo Baker showed up in my email today... 7 Ways to Find Soul Friends... Yes, please.

Because I'm all about a checklist and the easy way to do things...

because isn't that what our society is about?

Except friendship is hard work. There is no easy way to be a good friend, because it means that you open your heart and leave yourself bare, and you sacrifice. You listen when maybe you don't want to and you put aside your own agenda and look out for someone else's interest.

And I'm no good at that.

So, this year I'm focusing on love and learning that love is an action word, and it's about more than just actions and words but putting the two together. 

And love is hard... just like friendship. 

So while I'm still not sure that I know how to make more friends, and to stop being so superficial, and I'm not sure if there are even people out there that care or that need friends...

Here's what I'm thinking.

A true friend shows himself/herself friendly...

by being interested. Truly interested. By leaning in and listening and asking the right questions when necessary but also by just sitting and being quiet when that's necessary, too... knowing that sometimes silence doesn't always need to be filled.

by working hard at being a friend... going above and beyond and looking for ways to show that the other person is cared about.

by being authentic. Real. Vulnerable. Not caring when your laundry isn't done or your fridge isn't clean when company comes over, because it's more about the laughter than the dust (unless, of course, you cause someone to have an allergic reaction... and thus far that hasn't happened. At least that I know of).

by being loyal, which is a bygone in today's world, it seems like. By showing your loyalty by taking up for someone else and also by not chiming in when the world is beating them down.

by just being you... offering up who you are.  It may not be much, but it seems like in today's world we've lost focus of who we are.

"If you are a sincere friend, folks around you will quickly understand that there's no hidden agenda and nothing on the other side of the equals sign- just you."- Love Does, Bob Goff

So... I'm inviting you to be my friend... and to be your own friend... and to be someone else's friend. 

No perfect people... just imperfection trying to live love to others... one smile and kind word at a time.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean. It's hard to be vulnerable and risk. To put your heart out in a blog post and get no replies.
    So I'm waving back.
    But I'll tell you up hubby's a Purdue grad so we're kinda pro-big 10... ;-)