Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Do you love me, Mom?

Tonight as we were driving home from church, Caleb asked me if I loved him.  I had just gotten finished telling him what a delightful night I had had with him. I responded quickly with an "Of course I love you."  To which he replied, "Does God love me?  Even when I am bad?"  Whoa... where did that come from, little guy?  From the inane, human emotion that if I'm not good enough, noone will love me?  From feeling like love from someone has to be wrapped up in what I do, not from me just being?  From some inner sense of self that equates importance with action?  Heavy stuff for a almost 9 year old... and sadly, we don't grow out of it. 

I lose my temper and then feel like a failure. I can't say no, become overwhelmed because of all I am doing, and find myself cutting corners on the important stuff like reading my Bible and journaling, only to find myself miserable as I spiral downhill. I pick fights with Wallace and Caleb just because I don't feel good about myself.  All of these things can be considered "bad"... yet God loves me anyway.  Sometimes, even when I don't like myself.  I am confident that God loves us even when we are bad.  1 John 4:16, NIV "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."  GOD IS LOVE... He IS.  This means that He can't NOT love us, because love is Who He Is.  We KNOW and RELY... have you ever thought about where you'd be if not for God's love... I have, and it isn't a pretty thought. 

So, to answer Caleb's question... Yes, God loves you even when you are bad.  He doesn't like your behavior, but like any good Daddy, He's there to kiss and hug you after the spanking.  It's our job to in turn love HIm... the greatest commandment.  Love Him with EVERYTHING... heart, mind, soul, strength.  Thank You, Lord, for being love.  Help me to love You and those around me. 

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