WHOLE

 Book stacks make me happy. However, I’ve found it harder to read here lately. My eyes get tired easily, and I can’t see the print sometimes, and I get distracted.

I used to be able to sit down and read a whole book in one reading. I couldn’t tell you when the last time I did that.

A few years ago I got obsessed with counting… everything. Well, most everything. Steps I took. Miles I walked. Ounces I drank ( not so good on that one). Words I wrote. Books I read…

Until it became about the accomplishment. I stopped enjoying it.

And those piles of books only reminded me of what I wasn’t doing.

What used to make me feel whole, what used to give me energy, only left me feeling like I had a hole in my soul.

Obviously I’m not just talking books here. Somehow, in my counting, I placed an emphasis in a person I thought I should be. The problem with that is that we can never reach the bar of expectation, so we are constantly exhausting ourselves trying to reach a bar that is just our if reach, the proverbial carrot dangling just at our fingertips.

And that exhaustion takes all the joy away.

So, for the next couple of days I’m putting up my phone. (I’ll still post one pic a day because im doing a writing challenge, and even though I wavy to stop being legalistic about numbers I do want to get some discipline about writing because there are some books in me that want to get out!)

I’m going to read for the sake of reading, the beauty of words on the page, thinking about what I read.

And I’ll be better for it.

Grace to you my friends…