Free to Be Me

Today as I was watching the news the weatherman was giving rain totals for this year- almost 8 inches.

Almost double of what we had had by this time last year- and 2018 was a record year for rain.

I feel like a duck, except that I wasn't made for this weather.

Today, though, was a beautiful sunshiny day- until you stepped out the door and the wind cut you in two.

So many things aren't what they seem...

including people.

I think so often we believe we have to put on a brave face... a mask to hide our feelings because we're taught to "suck it up" and "keep pushing on".

I read a quote from The Scarlet Letter that struck me today. The Reverend is hiding the dirty secret that he is actually the father of Pearl, a child born out of wedlock. Her mother has been publicly humiliated for adultery and forced to bear the shame of her sin by a scarlett "A" embroidered on her chest. He has lived with the secret for years, until he can no longer. “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”

So often we live with the mask that we forget what the truth is.

I've been there- and self-deceit is the worst kind.

As I've been focusing on the word "seek" this year, I've been seeking God- but also seeking myself.

That may seem contradictory, but really it's not, because by seeking God I'm learning who I am... really am... in Him. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not.

Because in Him, I am all I need to be. As Francesca Battestelli sang several years ago, "I'm free to be me."

Dents in the fender... wholly trying to be Holy through Him but often not getting it right.
Trying to hold the pieces together but realizing that there is no duct tape for life.

Perfectly imperfect because He who created me is perfection enough.