Givin' In

Today I came home and gave in.

Monday I started Weight Watchers. I know it'll be a challenge, because I am a picky eater and even though there are a zillion (ok, 200) foods that are worth 0 points, there isn't much on the list that I've considered edible.

Apples. I love apples.

But some of those foods- I wouldn't even know what some of those fruits look like.

And while I know in my head that they are good for me, I still struggle.

I like what I like.

I like sweet stuff and salty stuff, and I'm not big on texture.

A lot of those fruits and other foods on that zero point list are high in fiber, which means they have lots of texture.

It makes me want to gag.

And have I mentioned that salad tastes like dirt to me?

Y'all, I really, really want to eat healthy.

I do.  I know I need to for my life's sake...

but today I needed some chocolate chip cookies and milk.

As in they were calling my name.

The box on the counter almost jumped into my hand.

And the milk in the fridge may or may not have expired yesterday, but it still smells good, and I need to get rid of it since it's expired, right?

So I crumbled up some cookies in a bowl and poured that cold milk over them. I let the cookies soak until they were just the right consistency, kind of crumbly, but full of chocolate chip goodness, and I ate my treat.

This weekend I'm going to go shopping for some good food. I'll resolve to try at least one new thing every day and to try to force myself to stick to my points because I know it'll be good for me. And if I'm willing to do the work and stick to the plan, it'll be worth it. We can train our palate...

At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself.

But since I enjoyed those chocolate chip cookies so much, I'm also going to remember that I'm not perfect, so a slide every now and again won't kill me. It won't help me, but it won't kill me.

Unless I give in every day to the stress eating, which is why I craved those chocolate chip cookies so much this evening. It's funny how you don't ever want something until you can't have it.

So many times I don't think I'm hungry- in fact, I know I'm not hungry... but I'm working on something and need a salty bag of chips to go along with my work.

I know what I need to do. It's just a matter of making myself actually put it into play.

So hopefully this weekend I'll have time to peruse my weight watchers book and try to think about what I can have to eat that keeps me within my point budget.

And then I need to remember to actually record what I eat, when I eat it.

I think even if I'm just more conscious about what I eat it will help. And also more conscious about when I eat... as in, when I'm stressed or overwhelmed, or bored like I was during the snow days (even though I had TONS of stuff to work on!!!)

And I'll have to train my mind to NOT think about nachos loaded with cheese and chili and red velvet cheesecake and queso and chips and every kind of sweet thing known to mankind...

One day at a time...