What do you say when you have no words?
I think that often as I stare at the blinking cursor on this white page.
So often, I feel the pressing need to write... anything... just to release the ticking time bomb that I feel in my chest... but then, nothing.
Nothing will come.
Sometimes it's the same way with praying. I'm really good at "Lord, help me." Or sometimes just, "Jesus."
And His name is enough...
It seems like this world sometimes has too many words, and maybe that's why I'm often at a loss. We spew out thoughtless words without thinking of the consequences, of the hurt that will come as a result... or maybe we just don't care.
And then there is the lack of words I so often feel because I am so overwhelmed in situations. I am socially awkward by default. I feel uncomfortable when it is just me or someone else. I'm not good at making idle conversation and I often come off as stilted or even stuck-up.
This is even worse when someone is grieving or hurting.
I've been told that in those situations, sometimes the best approach is just to be present with the other person. We don't have to offer words... because sometimes those words actually can make the situation worse. We don't know how they feel. We can't promise it will all be ok.
Tonight, as I scrolled down my newsfeed on facebook, my heart got heavier and heavier. So much sadness...sick babies, sick adults, loss of loved ones, people facing impossible diagnoses.
My heart physically hurt.
I felt like I needed to write, because I'm writing 500 words a day, but also because my heart is so overwhelmed.
When we don't have the words to say, though, there is one who does. We are told in His Word that when we don't know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes, groaning on our behalf. How fitting that the Spirit groans... because in our flesh we are prone to groans and moans.
We are also told that our hearts will be overwhelmed. David said, "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
The rock.
Jesus.
Who said in red letters, "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world."
He's overcome, friend... no matter what you're facing.
Your illness. Your grief. Your anxiety. Your hopelessness. Your loneliness.
He. Has. Overcome.
And while now we see as though a glass, not fully, someday we will see Him plainly and we will understand what we don't understand here. In the meantime, I think He understands when our heart asks why... when we are brokenhearted over something that doesn't seem fair.
After all, He cried out at the cross, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"
But He wasn't forsaken. And we aren't, either.
Cling to that, tonight... when your heart is overwhelmed, let Him be your perfect peace.
"Farther along, we'll know all about it. Farther along, we'll understand why. Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine. We'll understand it, all by and by."
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