Saturday, November 3, 2012

November Beginnings

There's so much going on in my head right now that I'm not sure where this blog will lead me.  Since part of the purpose of this is to clear out my chaotic mind (God help everyone reading this.. that's a dangerous place, a glimpse into my mind...), I'm just going to let it go. Since what's on my mind could never fit into that tiny box on Facebook.

First off, I can't believe it is already November! Wow!  I'm devoting this month to thankfulness.  I"ve tried really hard all year to have an attitude of gratitude, but I think it is especially important this month.  Not just because of Thanksgiving, although that certainly plays a part of it, but because it is so hectic.  The end of the semester, preparing for exams and wrapping up assignments, and then there is the crazy Christmas shopping... we too quickly lose focus and start looking at all that is pressing in on us rather than just being.  And it's in the just being, the breathing in and out in the everyday mundane, that we are truly thankful... aware of God and His blessings, some so minute and small that we take them for granted.  On Thursday, I was just thankful that I made it to work.  After locking my keys up in the house, and the rain and nastiness, it was a blessing just to sit down at my desk and breathe before tackling my to do list.  And that day there was the most beautiful blue sky... Friday brought thankfulness for God's grace.  I was reading in Unglued about grace... marvelous grace.  The verse Joel 2:13 was in my reading and it really put things into perspective.  Our God is so full of lovingkindness, and endless mercy. He is slow to anger, even when I deserve anger.  He is so good.  Period.  He is.. no way around it. Today, I'm thankful for a full life.  I stay so busy and that in itself is a blessing, because life is never boring.  And in the midst of this busyness, He provides rest... which I am so very thankful for. Today, I've just sat around and read my Bible, cleared out my email (I subscribe to a bunch of daily blogs that I don't read everyday, but I don't delete, either... I save them until I have a day like today when I can go through them.) Speaking of rest...

Thursday as I read Unglued, I was in chapter 11, which talked about a Sabbath rest.  A statement Lysa wrote really stuck out to me. This is a rough paraphrase, but she essentially said that when we come unglued (when we lose control of our reactions), it is because we are starved for God's Word.  There are days when I am starved for God's Word.  Even though I KNOW it is better to start my day off before God, I get lazy and complacent.  I sleep until the alarm goes off, then hit snooze... and hit it again. And again.  Or reset my clock (yes... I know.  Lazy is not a strong enough word).  And so my feet hit the ground running, and I'm always behind, and sometimes I don't crack open my Bible for a couple of days.  It's on those days when I can feel my need, radiating through me.  I'm desperate for His good Word... and just like an anorexic with poor body image, I start to think I'm ok without His Word.  The longer I go, the more desperate I am... and the more unglued I become.  Over stupid stuff.  I start that internal negative self-talk... and it's like an avalanche.

So, again, today has been good.  Bathing in His truth.  Thinking on His good thoughts of me.  Thoughts like I am special, chosen, fearfully and wonderfully made. Loved with an everlasting love.  Perfect in Christ, with everything that I need.  I need to focus on this every day.

Thankful in November?  You bet.  Imperfect progress... with the key word being imperfect... Yes.  And getting better every day. 

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