I Hate My Life... Except I Don't

I don't think it is a coincidence that yesterday morning I woke up and thought, "I hate my life."

Let me just go ahead and make a disclaimer.

I don't hate my life.

I used to be Negative Nancy, but have really tried in recent years to look at things from the glass half-full perspective.

Really, the glass almost-full perspective.

But it's just sometimes I get tired.

Maybe that's why the verse in Matthew talking about coming to Jesus sounds so good to me... because I think we're all a little weary.

Weary of our circumstances and weary of this election and weary of all of the negativity and all of the hurt and all of the pain...

So yesterday morning I didn't just jump out of bed with a smile on my face, and was a little melodramatic, because, well, drama queen, sometimes, maybe?

Yes.

Anyhow, at the beginning of 2016 I purposed to live a life of purpose, to live intentionally, in the moment, and for the most part I have.

To say 2016 has been rough would be an understatement, but as I mentioned before, I try not to wallow in the muck and mire...

Except sometimes when I'm weary, I wallow.

A lot.

And so as I pondered what to write on for the next 31 days, one word came to me.

Still living purposefully...

but seeking contentment.

According to dictionary.com, content as an adjective means "satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else."

Being content means recognizing that even in the bad, you've not got it that bad.

And in my head, I know this...

but in my heart I'm often not content.

So, this month, I'm going to try to learn how to become more content.

Paul said in Philippians 4 that he had "learned to be content", which tells me it's something I can learn.

After reading 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp, I really tried to look for the small things, to cultivate gratitude in my life... but I've fallen away from that.

When I'm grateful, I'm more content. When I'm focused on the good things, like Kelsey's breakfast buffet and Will holding my hand leaving church and Melody's picture in the pumpkin patch and Caleb just being Caleb, I have a fullness in my heart, one that is left empty when I allow myself to start focusing on all that is wrong with my world.

Y'all, I want to be satisfied... even when I wake up thinking I hate my life.

Because He is enough.

And His grace is sufficient. noun