One Deep Breath

It's May already.

I can't believe it.

My April resolutions went down the drain in a hurry...

but I've had lots of time riding in the hills on the Razor and enjoying the sunshine and spending time with family and laughing at Melody and Will and running to Owsley Co. to pick up Lauren Green.

So... maybe May will be better and maybe it won't. I told y'all in last month's review that I was learning about a new meaning of purpose.

Of presence...

of being fully in the moment.

I'm still not great at.

I still zone out on my phone more than I should, and find myself retreating in a book because it's better than real life... or maybe not better, but more comfortable, if that makes sense...

but yesterday a chilly rain blew in my windshield as we drove down gravel trails, and the leaves were especially green, and the sun would occasionally peek out from a gray cloud to show us a little love.

And Melody's eyes were particularly blue as she caught mine in a game of peek a boo..

And today at church, Caleb's hands were much larger than mine as he reached over and gave my hand a squeeze during the singing, and I paused to look at those hands and remember them sticky with popsicles on warm summer days.

Will leaned into Wallace, asleep, but his little boy legs, with a few little boy bruises on the shins, curled up underneath me, and when I picked him up he buried his sweaty head into my shoulder for just a second.

They played I'll Fly Away and I remembered my Dad singing it at my Aunt Virginia's funeral... "Just a few more happy days and then..."

And I thought how I was pretty sure that this year of 2016 has been a little bit more weary days than happy days for him... but His Grace is sufficient for the weary days and the happy days.

And today the sun beat down and I breathed in the smell of mud and looking back on it I thought of how we were created from dust, with the very breath of God breathed in to us... and that we were good..

He is good.

So, I may not be on track with my Bible reading and my exercise plan may have gone out the window and I may have gained a couple of pounds this last month (again)...

but He is still good... and He is still God... and His purpose is still there.

We just have to reach it one deep breath at a time.