Sunday, May 8, 2016

Beginnings and Endings

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end..."

Life is funny.  Just when you get used to how something is, it's over.

Four years ago, I wrote about Kami graduating high school.  It seems like yesterday.

That graduation was an ending to life as we knew it on Twin Cedar Road... and the beginning of four years of anticipated visits, of text messages, of emailed papers, of stalking social media for a glimpse of our Princess.

Tonight I'm thinking about beginnings and endings.

It's funny how sometimes you don't even realize when something is beginning or ending, until it's halfway through and you're not sure how it happened or it's over and you look around and say, "Now what."

I can remember the first time I held Kami. I can't remember the first time she spoke, or the first time that she walked, or the first time that she picked up an ink pen and wrote me a note...

but I can remember moments, just tiny spurts of time.

A snaggletooth grin.

Long ponytails flying behind her as she ran up the soccer field in her yellow jersey that "matched her dark hair and eyes", hands in her pockets as she ran.

Hours and hours of Rugrats and Doug and RocketPower.

Curling up on the couch to read books.

Waking up in the middle of the night to find out she had rolled out of the bed on me...

twice... or that she was lying on top of me, with the rest of the bed wide open.

None of these could be classified as beginnings, but none the less they are woven together in the tapestry of our sisterhood.

Too many memories for this post, so I'll just share this link to one I wrote for her 21st birthday.

So, back to my thoughts on beginnings and endings...

I have always thought of graduation ceremonies as being the end...

for my nursing graduates, it's the culmination of two years of ten pound textbooks and hours studying and care plans and stressing over tests.

But there's a reason they call it commencement...

Because graduations are really a beginning, coming from that ending...

The beginning of adulthood.

And new beginnings are scary. With them comes fear of the unknown, fear of failure, anxiety about yourself and your place in this world.

They are also exciting, because new beginnings are like white pages that have yet to be marred by red ink.

So, to each of you new graduates...

Write your story. I would say write it in pencil so you can erase, but I can't help but think part of the beauty of life is looking back and seeing those scribbled out words when you make a mistake.

Appreciate every moment. Live every moment.

Don't be afraid to take new avenues and to talk to new people and to go new places... even if other people are afraid for you.

Write it loud... in bold ink, big letters. Don't be afraid to write in uppercase letters, because sometimes we need you to shout at us. Don't be afraid to make your mark on this world.

You're beautiful, and you represent all that is well and good in this world.

Hope... because that's the best thing new beginnings have to offer.

And if you mess up... well, that's just the beginning of something else.

Congrats, Kami! Apologizing in advance for being such a sappy sister. I recognize that you've had it rough sometimes, because not only were you loved by many, but you had to put up with a Mom and two older sisters who tried to mother you.

But you turned out pretty good, if I must say so myself.

Love you!!!

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