Some Kind of Way

So every now and again I get this big idea that maybe I have something in my head worth sharing, and the blankness of this white page calls my name.

I vow that I'll be consistent...

Until something happens that takes my time.

Or my focus.

Or knocks the wind out of my sails.

And I'm silent for a while... but then it beckons.

Today I started day 1 of November thankfuls, and I was reminded again that I had the perfect platform, right here on this blog, to share what I'm thankful for...

and maybe it will help me become consistent again.

Today I am thankful for King Jesus... for His Word... and for His love that caused Him to choose to save me when I was lost in sin.

But I'm thankful for so much more. 

I'm thankful for a good game on TV today between the Steelers and the Bengals; even though we lost it inspired me to tackle my mountain of laundry.

I'm thankful for a 4 pound weight loss in the month of October and a reminder that even though I have good days and bad days, it's a mindset and a lifestyle change and I am happier with my self at this moment in time than I have been for a long time.

I'm thankful that even in the middle of Halloween, which can make an uncrafty Mom feel useless as I scroll through social media, seeing the cute costumes that look Pinterest perfect, and the whole families dressed up that I'm realizing that loving Caleb makes me a good Mom, even if I never did dress up when I took him trick or treating.

And that being glad that he decided this year to not dress up does not make me a bad Mom.

Even if he did say that he wished he had found time in his life to put together a costume, because "We never know what next year will hold."

Which made me think, again, that this time next week I will officially have a teenager on my hands, which makes me feel all kinds of way.

As in, wanting to throw up way, and wanting to cry way, and wanting to pat myself on the back because we've made it this far and just yesterday somebody told me what a good boy I have way.

And I wonder if God ever feels that way about me, as He watches my attitude that is less than perfect and my anger that boils over for no reason... as He sees me struggle to reign in my emotions, as He sees me love imperfectly but choose to love.

And so above all, I'm thankful that He loves me through all of those emotions...

Because He is too good.