Eternal Light

I'm a self-professed winter hater.

Oh, I love Christmas time, and I love snow days, for the most part, if it means I can hang out on my couch all day long in my flannels and read mindless books.

And I love basketball.

I don't like it being dark at 5 PM or cold temperatures.

Seasonal affective disorder is a real thing and even though it is outside my scope of practice as a nurse to diagnose, I'm pretty sure that I have it. 

I can mark my moods by the time change. Added to all of that is the overall gloominess of this world.

Maybe we need a World Affective Disorder... because life can just plain stink and can overwhelm us and leave us gasping for air.

I am one of those "ostriches" who like to bury their heads in the sand, but you can't dodge it nowadays.  Every time you turn on the TV or the radio it's something else. Bombings.  Bomb threats.  Job loss. Debate about some issue or another. Refugees and homeless and hopeless people.

And those things aren't just on the other side of the world.  No, sir.  Last week I seriously held my breath as Wallace talked to Caleb about what to do in the case of an active shooter.  Y'all.  I've had trainings and have thought of plans at work but you never really think it could happen until you're trying to explain the fear away from your baby.

And this morning as I was reading in Mark 13, where the disciples ask Jesus to tell them the signs of the times, my heart was heavy again.

Because even though I have the hope of glory, we can't deny what's happening. Wars. Rumors of wars. Nations rising up against nation. Immorality. The persecution of Christians.

Our hearts are being hardened or they are failing us for fear.

But I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be afraid, because fear cancels out faith. I don't want to live with a hardened heart, because we're taught to love, and love always, always, always means vulnerability.

Love our neighbors.... all of them. Even if you don't know what threats they pose.

And we're told that we'll be known by our fruit.... fruit that includes joy and peace. Putting up with one another. Gentleness and kindness.

How do we balance these things out when we want to just stay in our cocoon?  And how do I do it when I want to just bury my head underneath the covers because I am depressed because it's dark outside?

This morning I prayed. I claimed the verse from Nehemiah about the joy of the Lord being my strength.  I don't feel joyful; but His joy is a supernatural joy greater than our circumstances. I'm praying it for myself and praying it for all who read this blog and for all of my friends and even for my enemies.  I'm praying for the peace that passes understanding and for love that is greater than fear.

May we live it out... until that hope of glory becomes fulfilled. And there'll be no seasonal affective disorder because the Son will be the eternal light.

Hallelujah and amen.